People are very busy, especially working professionals. While these professionals are happy to help people they know, or who have done a fine job of introducing themselves via their own connections, they really aren't happy at all about having their own precious time wasted. They also aren't pleased with being made to feel like they're just some kind of tool that you can pick up, misuse, put down, and pick back up at will.
What are the secrets to highly effective networking and making connections?
Understand why you are networking in the first place. Many people fresh out of college erroneously take it for granted that they already know the answer to this question. You have to identify the specific companies for which you would like to work, why this is the case, and know how to find the right connections necessary to get you in there. If not, you will waste many peoples’ time, and irritate them. You could inadvertently irritate the wrong people — such as those who make phone calls to other people who can help you get hired.
Be thoroughly informed. Don't waste your networking contacts' precious time with inane or simplistic questions that make you look lazy or stupid. Research a target company as thoroughly as possible before you get in touch with one of your contacts there. Show these people that you can put in a solid effort and have half a brain, and that you care.
Don't appear to try too hard. Desperation is unattractive, and besides, it naturally leads to valuing your job quest ahead of the responsibilities of those who already have jobs, and who will not have jobs for long if they neglect their duties to take your 10 daily phone calls. Confidence is something the job seeker must possess; a confident applicant enables his or her contacts to be more confident in recommending them.
Get over the idea that you know everything there is to know, simply because you have a degree. If you knew it all, you'd already have the job! The people who have jobs have a similar degree as well as experience, and almost assuredly know more about their field than you. Whenever they take the time to speak with you, consider everything they have to say, and send them a thank-you letter or email to compensate them for their time.
As mentioned earlier, your contacts' time is precious. Time is money in the business world. You have to respect this and understand that your first priority is not theirs. To a certain extent, everyone must be selfish, otherwise nothing would ever be accomplished. Make the time that you do have to speak with them, however limited, really count — make it a quality conversation, and remember that thank-you note.
Be independent. Your contact is there to help you and answer your questions, but not to do everything for you. Never ask for a favor when you can do yourself that which you are requesting from your contact; listen and remember the answers to questions the first time you ask them, to avoid asking the same thing repeatedly. Minimize your needs from your valued contact.
Be transparent and never presume. Don't “name drop” unless one of your contacts has given you explicit permission to use their name in this way. To avoid suspicion and to foster trust, always tell each contact how you got their name at the beginning of the conversation.
Speaking of networking, don't speak of networking. That's perceived as a professional taboo. Successful networking relies upon your approaching it as if building relationships (which you are), and potentially even friendships. You know what you're doing, and those whom you contact are likely to know it, too, but do not explicitly state that networking is your intention.
Advertise, but don't sell, yourself. You can't be in your contacts' faces. Let them know your credentials when the time is right, but be somewhat passive about this. It is far better to be like a billboard than a cold caller.
You should always be willing and prepared to return favors when the time comes. One of the worst cases of abuse can arise when you’ve “made it”, and someone from your past who helped you get there now needs your help, but you avoid reciprocating by saying, "Sorry, I've got responsibilities". Yes, you do have a responsibility—to reciprocate. They had responsibilities, too, but they helped you. Now it's your turn.
In summation, networking and making connections is about making yourself known to others — not bothering them. Speak softly and be persistent.
